Don’t let the facts and figures confuse you; girl gamers are a rare and special breed. I mean, honestly, how many girls do you know talk smack over Xbox Live during a rousing game of Halo 2? Yea, that’s what I thought. But hey, if you want to get your girl interested in playing video games with you, don’t get discouraged. It’s easier than you think to turn any Plain Jane into the next egotistical attention whore that will draw the salivations of sexless virgins while she ignores your desires in order to fulfill her depressing need for attention. At least you won’t die alone.

So relax, take our hand, and walk down a sandy beach with Gaming Out Loud as we detail the steps involved in turning your chick from a Chatty Kathy to a Pwnin’ Patti.

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